So at our training that we attended this past few weeks we learned the value of saying good-bye. This is something that I struggle with. I tend to get so emotional that I can’t really say what I need to say. Since, I know this about myself and know how valuable it is to process good-byes I thought I would blog them. This way I can say what I need to and process the feelings. So if you are looking for happy blogs this isn’t the week to read our blog. I promise that I won’t dwell on the negatives forever and I promise to even write about the positives of the move – just give me a few weeks.
Tonight – I am processing saying good-bye to family. This afternoon I said goody-bye to my Grandmother, my Parents, my Sister and her family, yesterday to my younger sister and her husband. At Thanksgiving we said good-bye to Tony’s parents and Grandfather. Truthfully, I only see our family at most a half a dozen times a year. With a husband that works weekends and family that lives in Minnesota and Alabama, and Montana it’s just not possible to see them more than that. Even though that has been our reality moving across an ocean is incredibly difficult. We hope to be back in the states in approximately 18 months and in the next 18 months we will probably have family come to visit. There are still things to grieve. So what will I miss? I will miss that our girls will have regular time with their grandparents. I am sad that they won’t be able to spend a week with my parents in the summer. I will miss spending time at the cabin (that is still being built). I will miss family gatherings, the noise, the food, and chimis for Christmas dinner. I will miss having my nieces and nephews spend a week with our family. I grieve because my grandparents are in their 80’s and 90’s and I don’t know how many times I will get to see them again. I am going to miss that my mom will get in the car and driving from Alabama to Wisconsin in one day so she can visit or help me with the girls. I will miss hearing the funny things my nieces and nephews say. I am sad that the girls won’t be able to “grow up” with their cousins. I am sad that the next time I see my nieces and nephews they are going to be so different, grown up, not the little kiddos that I remember. To my family – we will miss you immensely. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for helping us. Thank you for understanding and letting us go without making us feel bad or like we are abandoning you. Thank you for encouraging us even in the difficult things.